Jun 1, 2011

Common Expressions Revised

I would like to revise a few common expressions. Feel free to steal them and use them for yourself.

Old - That which does not kill you, makes you stronger.
New - That which does not kill you is why you need therapy.

Old - A blessing in disguise.
New - Life was so bad that I had to search for something good and I finally found it.

Old - Blood is thicker than water.
New - Blood is thicker than water, but I get to choose my water.

Old - A woman's place is in the home.
New - A woman's place is wherever she wants to be.

Old - Children should be seen and not heard.
New - If you can't see or hear your children, run! They are up to no good.

Old - Those that can, do. Those that can't, teach.
New - Those that can, do. Those that can't, teach. Those that can't teach, teach gym.

Old - All publicity is good publicity.
New - All publicity is good publicity, just ask Charlie Sheen.

Old - Behind every great man there is a great woman.
New - Behind every great man there is a great woman. (because some things never change)

14 comments:

  1. Okay...that was funny and worth the read!
    Sharon at voiceboks
    www.sharon-moms-madhouse.com

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  2. Loved that! My favorite is #1 because whenever I say/do something my kids don't like I tell them to remember it so they can tell their therapist some day!

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  3. #6 is my fav - SO FUNNY!! :D :D :D Following you...

    http://www.guitartrump.blogspot.com/

    Hope you have an *amazing* day! :)

    Alex

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  4. The first one was my favorite!

    I also like:
    "Those who can, teach. Those who can't, wimp out and get some cushy high-paying job." ;)

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  5. "If you can't see or hear your children, run! They are up to no good." <<----This! I get worried when I can't hear/see my daughter or my dogs!

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  6. "If you can't see or hear your children, run! They are up to no good."---oh so very true! Great job on all of them. Definitely started my day off with a smile.

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  7. Loved this and stumbled it:)

    Laura

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  8. Thanks for the smiles! stumbled you!

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  9. What a great post! I will have to share those too and link back to you!!

    Stumbled!!

    Karen
    ~Mommy's Moments~ {{a review & giveaway blog and more}}
    http://www.avonbykaren.blogspot.com

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  10. Funny!!

    Stumbled you...my post is:
    http://keenlykristin.com/2011/06/summer-of-kristin-a-sad-day-in-wildwood/

    Thanks for linking up!
    Kristin :)

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  11. That was a great laugh, thanks for sharing! I am a new follower via the Almost Friday Blog Hop. I have really enjoyed looking through your site; your kids are so darn cute! I invite you to visit my blog:

    wethreedyes.blogspot.com

    Cheers!

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  12. This is a great post! Definitely made me smile!

    Stopping by from Stumble Thursday! Would love if you'd return the visit (and the stumble!) at http://formulamom.com

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