Aug 9, 2011

What is a Man?

I am sooooo super annoyed about this post's subject! There are times in life when I wish I had an anonymous blog and I could write anything without having to think about someone's little feelers. But today the straw broke the camel's back and I don't really care if I offend you, because you have offended me!

If you'll allow me a little background on the situation................

Brett owned his own business. He worked crazy insane hours (4am-5pm and then did paper work at night) and in the end, we weren't making any money. Since he is respectful of my opinion and wants my input, he asked me about closing the business this Winter. As a couple, we agreed on a plan and we decided on the conditions that we would close the business on.

In June, we decided to close the business. Now I'll be honest, I really let him make this decision. I went along with his feelings because at the end of the day, he has to do the work. I think we made the right decision for our marriage and our family.

Allrightythen on to the rant...............

Brett got a great paying job after less than a week of looking for work. Ummm how super amazing is that???? Have you noticed how crappy our economy is???????

Here's the catch for the people that I'm ranting about, it's entry level work. So Brett went from an owner to entry level. For some men, this would be a big deal, but for Brett, he didn't care. He looks at this job as a huge blessing. We have a job that pays our bills and will give us health insurance in a few months. He could care less about the perception of how this makes him look. And I am so proud of him for taking this job.

What really chaps my hide is the crap that he is getting over taking this job. All we hear is "how's Brett doing at the new job, it must be so hard for him" or "is Brett doing OK with the job (insert condescending tone here)" or "is Brett OK with not being the boss?"

Really?? Well let me know what my opinion is of this situation? Brett is acting like a real man. He is providing for his family in any way that he can. He knows that his ego has no place in this situation! A real man in my opinion does whatever it takes for his family. A real man doesn't wait for his dream job, he takes any job he can get and provides for his family! I am so proud to call him my husband. I have a tremendous amount of respect for Brett. I love that he would do anything for us. I love that he gets his fulfillment from being a Christ follower, husband, and father, and not from his job!

So quit giving us a hard time. Just because you couldn't do it, doesn't make Brett miserable at his job. Just because you couldn't swallow your pride, doesn't mean he can't. He sees it as just that, a job! Your job shouldn't be your identity. A real man is measured by his heart and actions not his position at work. And really, screw you for trying to make a man feel bad for providing for his family!!!

End rant!


  1. I agree 100%!!!

  2. Amen!! I agree and I wish more men were like that. Unfortunately most men are not which is why the automatic perception is that he should be miserable and not happy with his situation. I wish my husband was more like yours. Congrats on your super catch! :)

  3. You go girl! I left my 85K+ job with excellent benefits, etc. so that I could be home more. The commute was taking me anywhere from 1 1/2 to 2 hours one way. Not to mention I tallied up the gas to be around $30K a year. I worked there for 3 years and missed out on a total of 1 month per year of my family's life. I now have a job making $8.50/hour at a part-time job. It's an alright job, but it is a job and I am still looking for a full-time position with benefits. I hear about it from everyone except, my husband and church family. They support us 100%. Yes, I was the boss, but it's been great to step away from that for a while. To go to work and come home and not bring work home with me has been great.

    As a follower of Christ, it became apparent to me that family was more important and that God will provide for us and our needs. And He has so far. As a female who had a high-paying position, I receive the same questions and comments. I don't let them bother me or I explain to is too short to obsess over money and position. Enjoy it and your friends and family before it's too late.


  4. Hi Allison, I am new to your blog but I HAD to comment on your post. I really commend you on posting this. I think it is absolutely AMAZING that you have a husband who will do anything to take care of his family and not care about his ego like you said. It really makes me sick when others can sit here and "type" those types of comments to you and not support your decision. After all, this is YOUR life and like it or not others think they have the right to tell you how to live. You are 100% right, a man is a man and his job does NOT identify him. It sounds like you have an amazing husband and family and I am really happy that you are so very PROUD of your husband for doing what he needs to do to take care of you and your family. Don't listen to those who are negative. It could be that they are jealous or just mean spirited! Who really knows. But they had and have NO right to say such mean things to you about what you and your husband has decided to do. I am sorry that you had to read those type of comments and you can just ignore them or simply delete them. I could and would never judge someone for anything let alone because of a job he was clearly so very blesssed to get. Especially as fast as he got it. I just wanted to say that I am SO PROUD of you for sticking up for you and your family and for shouting it from the roof tops that you will not take or listen to this type of negative behavior!! Why people feel the need to give you a piece of their mind or why they need to feel the need to comment on "how he is doing" and all of the comments that you received I just will never understand the reason for that. Just know that there are good people in this world and those are the people that you need to surround yourself with. The negative ones that will judge you have no business telling you how they think you should live. It was really so brave of you to post this and I am so happy that you did. I would have done the same thing. You are so right, your husbands new job is for sure a BLESSING and I am happy that you will have medical benefits and everything wonderful thing that comes along with his new job. Your husband IS a man and REAL man at that. I could never be so judgemental like that or make comments to anyone like that. You are proud and youcontinue to hold your head up high and keep it there right beside your husbands head because he is holding it high as well. Bravo my friend, BRAVO!!
    Terri of Two Pink Peas
    Terrico3 at ameritech dot net

    P.S. for those who read this and do not agree with me please do not email me with negative remarks. I agree 100% with Allison and Allison has EVERY right to be as proud as she is for her husband and what he is doing for their family. This is just my 2 cents and I am supporting Allison. Not everyone will agree with us and that is ok but please do not leave negative comments to Allison and please do not email me telling me that you think that I am an idiot for standing behind her and for supporting her. Allison.. You GO GIRL!!! Hugs!!

  5. Allison, Hurrah for your husband!! what a tough decision to have to make, but he made it and is doing what he has to do! Kudo's to him!!
    30 yrs ago, when my hubby got out of the Navy, we moved to his hometown and the only job he could find was in a meat-pkg plant. we heard-That job is disgusting... A meat-packing plant?When is he getting a "real" job, and would get clips of help-wanted ads in the mail, etc... It was a hard job, he worked 12 hrs a day, 6 days a week. I was so proud of him for doing this so we could eat, have health insurance...(had baby 2days after he was hired) He worked his way up to manager and then the plant closed! We moved out to the East Coast and again he started over with a job as an apprentice meat-cutter at a small mom& pop grocery store, a$10/hr pay-cut!  My mother told  people he's in "sales" (WHAT?) and often called and told of a job opening or when someone is hiring!The wage was small and he still worked 6 days a week, but it paid the bills. He is still there (26yrs), and has worked his way to Meat-Dept Manager!  Since its family-owned, and yes he could work at larger stores for more money, but he stays because they took a chance and hired him with no experience, and has been very supportive through the yrs!   I am so proud of him for sticking with it, for not paying attention to other people's remarks.  Yes, he works weekends, still 6 days a week, we dont get to take fancy vacations, we have a small house, and live paycheck to paycheck, but we are happy and healthy, fed and sheltered! His job has put 2 kids through college, and when I got sick, allowed me to quit work and stay home! 

    So all of "YOU PEOPLE" who need to make comments, remarks and are just being an ASS!: GROW UP AND GET A LIFE!! Its not about the JOB! Its about love of your family, responsibility, respect!  Its about knowing that the people who depend on you, CAN depend on you; It's about looking in the mirror and liking what you see!  My husband made choices and decisions that showed his love for me and our family, and you can bet Allison's husband loves her and that is what matters!

  6. Hey Girlie!! Not sure who "these people" are but with friends like that...well, you know the saying!

    What bees-wax is it to anyone else anyways??? Sometimes it makes people feel better about themselves if they think someone else has it "harder" or "worse" or has been "deflated" in some way or fashion...pish-posh on them!

    Yay Brett! He could teach the other boys...I mean men, out there who do chose their job to be their identity and/or "ego boost" as their main lifeline! (AND you could teach the woman who think this is the way it should be a few things too!)

    As awlays, so proud to have you as my blogger bud! :)

  7. We love you and think this is awesome!!!! What a wonderful man. My husband supports our family with a job that he isn't crazy about but he works it because it's close to home, makes good money and has great benefits. We are blessed to have him in our lives and so are you. God gives us directions in his own ways.. this is just another direction he steered your husband in.. sounds like it was the right decision.

  8. I agree with you 100% - a man takes care of his family. It doesn't matter what his job title it. You are blessed to have him and he is blessed to have such a great support!

  9. Oh, Allison! I can't believe people would say things like that!! When Shaun was unemployed for so many months, we were beyond THRILLED when he got hired to go back to Papa John's - for $8.25/hr. It was something and he has never been too proud to take a job that helps his family in any way. I feel exactly the same way about Shaun as you do about Brett. :)


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