Why I Would Be the 1st Person Voted off Survivor

I am a huge fan of the show Survivor. I watched the first two seasons and then I lost interest for a few years. But I found my way back and I was very excited last night that it was back for another season!

Now I don't know about you, but I would never actually want to be on the show. I have no desire to leave my family to starve and get eaten by bugs and tough it out in the wild for 39 days. And I'm convinced that I would be the very first person kicked off of Survivor. And here's why....

1. I don't do bugs. I like nature and camping but you have a tent when you camp. In a tent bugs are not crawling all over you.
2. I don't handle extreme personalities very well. And......
3. I have zero poker face! If you want to know what I'm feeling, look at my face. And if you don't figure it out from my face eventually my words will fill you in. OK fine, not eventually pretty quickly.
4. Brett calms me down I need him in stressful social settings.
5. I'm not weak, but I'm not strong either so I think I would be average in the challenges.
6. I'm an insomniac on a good day. Every little distraction keeps me up at night. Sleeping in the rain-in a shelter-with strangers-and bugs crawling on me???? Oh hell no, I wouldn't get a minute of sleep. And trust me, I know what that would do to my mood.
7. No food, enough said.

Now factor in reason #6 with numbers 2 and 3 and you have a recipe for disaster. Then you start to factor in everything else and I know they would kick me off the first second they could. Provided that I didn't quit first. So what about you? How well do you think you would do on Survivor?