Apr 29, 2012

How We Love Our Kids-Review

How We Love Our Kids - Milan and Kay Yerkovich

I've read many parenting books over the course of my four short years of being a parent. Most of them say the same things and have the goal of changing your child's behavior. How We Love Our Kids by Milan and Kay Yerkovich is the first book that I've read that focuses on the parent's behavior instead of the child's behavior. Their message is that you can make a small change in your parenting that creates a huge change in your child.

The first part of the book describes 5 different love styles of parenting; avoider, pleaser, vacillator, controller, and victim parent. My husband and I each took the assessments to see what love style we identified with the most. To my dismay, we are both avoider parents. It was a little bit of an ah-hah moment since the same things really annoy us about parenting. But it would be nice if we could balance each other out with the damage we are doing to our kids by having different love styles.

The book gives some guidelines on how to respond to your child's needs better and how to focus on them instead of the problem. I know that there are many times that I'm so focused on ending the tantrum or meltdown that I'm ignoring the reason for it starting. And of course since I ignored the trigger, it appears again and again.

Even though my kids are still little, I liked that this book focused on how to help kids at different ages. Kids have different needs at different ages and it was good to see how you can help your kids at each stage in life. With so many parenting books focusing on early childhood and teenagers, the middle years get lost many times in the parenting book world.

I highly recommend this book to help you enjoy parenting more. I've found that the strategies that Milan and Kay lay out for the avoider parents are really helping me. I've learned to respond to my daughter's emotional needs better and to keep us focused on a solution instead of engaging in a power struggle.

You can purchase How We Love Our Kids directly through the publisher Waterbrook Multnomah website.

Disclaimer-I received this book to review as a part of Waterbrook Multnomah's blogging for books program. No further compensation was provided and all opinions are 100% mine.


  1. This sounds very interesting! Did you find it to be a quick read?

  2. This sounds like a great book. Thanks for your thoughts and the review. Have a super week! :O)

  3. I'm definitely going to check this out. Thank you!


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