Dec 7, 2012

Why There is Not an Elf on the Shelf in my Home

I'm pretty sure at least 90% of American households are caught up in the Elf on the Shelf craze. I am in the 10% who are not only choosing not to participate, but I refuse to participate. I have my reasons for holding out and I know that some of you Elf fanatics are going to cry for my poor kids who are Elfless. But do not fear, they are just fine.

The Elf is Super Creepy! Why am I the only one who is creeped out but this little guy? If ever a doll was going to come to life and stab you to death in your sleep it's The Elf. That smile is pure evil like he is thinking about which wine would pair best with you. And don't even get me started on the eyes.

Why is the Elf Naughty? I just don't get the concept behind The Elf. The creepy little bastard watches your kids and reports said behavior to Santa to encourage them to be good. But once he returns from the north pole, he does something naughty. So let me get this straight, the same Elf that encourages good behavior is on the naughty list? Sure that totally makes sense.

The Elf is Basically a Big Ole Snitch. Don't tattle kids! No one likes a tattle tail kids! Hey here is a super creepy Elf who wants to kill you in your sleep that is going to tattle on you to Santa. That sounds a little like do as I say not as I do to me!

I Have Enough to do Already! I must be the most selfish mom on the planet but I really don't want to do the whole Elf thing because I don't need one more thing on my to do list. And really people when the Elf makes the naughty little messes-I'm the one who has to clean it up! I saw a picture on Pinterest of The Elf fishing into mini marshmallows in the bathroom sink. And while some people saw the picture and thought hey that's awesome based on the number of repins - I said "oh hell no are you people insane!"

First of all my kids would totally eat those marshmallows until I could swoop them away. I'm not exactly a spring out of bed kind of mom so they would be almost gone by the time I got up. But the rest of the marshmallows would be stale and covered and kid spit. So not only have I wasted a whole bag of mini marshmallows which would be far better served as Rice Krispy Treats, but now I have sugared up kids. PLUS since I know without a shadow of a doubt that my kids would eat the marshmallows, I would have to clean the sink before and after "The Elf's mess." Pass on all that extra work.

I will Forget to Move Elf. I know that at least once a week I will forget to move The Elf. I have found milk in the pantry and I call my kids by the wrong name on a daily basis. Do you really think the same person who didn't even realize that she put the milk in the pantry is going to remember to move an Elf every night? Yeah, me neither.

My Kids are Distracted Enough Already. And even though I stand firm in the above reasons for not doing the whole Elf thing, this is my main reason for skipping it. I want my kids to know that Jesus is the reason why we celebrate Christmas. Look we do Santa in our house and I love the magic that comes with Santa. He teaches my kids generosity and the spirit of giving and I love that. But in our home, my husband and I are busting our butts to keep Christ in Christmas. With Santa and presents, it so easy to loose focus on the real reason we celebrate Christmas. And I don't want to personally add another distraction to Christmas.

So now you know why I'm going to pass on The Elf on the Shelf madness, even though my sister bought my kids the creepy little . In all fairness, I did tell her not to send it to me since there was no way I was going to hop on the Elf bandwagon so it's not my fault that she wasted her money.

If you're in the 10% like me, what is your biggest reason for skipping The Elf madness?


  1. haha, we don't have elf on the shelf. My brother gave me a Christopher Pop-in-kins last year that I had out on a shelf, but I didn't have the book so we never started.

    Elf on the Shelf is SUPER creepy! Christopher pop-in-kins, is way cuter... but still a creepy theory.

    I was just talking to one of the moms at my daughters school about how weird it is that this elf comes and messes up your house to try to teach your kids to be nice. I don't feel like having to clean up messes that the elf "makes".

    IF I do this next year, it will be just a "move around the house" kinda thing, not a "lets spill cereal and sprinkles and anything else all over my house" thing.

    1. I think moving the Elf around is the way to go. Otherwise it's just way too much work for me.

  2. I don't have Elf in my house either. That thing is just too creepy for me. Plus, I would forget to move it and/or run out of places to move it. The things I've seen people doing with their Elf has gotten ridiculous. One person toilet papered their own house and another stripped down a Barbie doll and put her on a paper towel holder like she was at the strip club and the elf was making it rain. SMH.

    I'll keep passing on this creepy craze and stick my good ol' fashioned traditions of making cookies, sipping hot chocolate and watching Christmas movies with the kids.

    1. I saw the strip club Elf picture, really? That's just a little too much for me.

  3. I do agree that the Elf on the Shelf pictures I've seen around the internet are strange. My house has Christmas Elves but my own tradition that was started MANY years before this other book came out and it isn't creepy!

    1. We had elves growing up and they were not creepy and I really liked them. I wonder why the makers of the Elf didn't go with a sweet little guy.


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