Jan 14, 2014

The Bachelor Teaches You the Importance of Raising Your Son



One of my favorite things to do on a Monday night is unwind in bed with a glass of wine and watch The Bachelor. Last night however, I didn't enjoy the show very much. I got very distracted thinking about how disappointed I was with one of the cast members’ actions, Juan Pablo. I know many of you are probably surprised by that statement. Last night's episode of The Bachelor got me thinking about how important it is to raise my son to treat women with respect. 

That's right my son. 

For those of you who didn't watch the group date was a photo shoot for a dog charity. Two girls were asked to pose nude for the shoot. The teacher was smart and traded "costumes" with the free spirit who prances around naked all the time. The problem was solved for her. But for Andi the lawyer, she still had to decide if she was going to pose nude. 

Now please know that I'm not judging Andi for going through with the shoot. I can understand the pressure she felt to pose and perhaps in the end she decided that she wanted to pose. Only she knows and that isn't my point anyway. 

When Andi told Juan Pablo that posing nude made her feel uncomfortable, it all went wrong for me. Instead of saying "I understand" or "that's fine we'll find a costume for you to wear" he pressured her into posing nude. I was so disappointed by his reaction. I wasn't surprised but it still ticked me off. A woman tells you that she feels uncomfortable and you pressure her to do it anyway? Wrong!

I don't want my son to grow up to be the guy that talks a girl into taking her clothes off for a photo shoot. I want him to recognize that there are boundaries and it's OK to say no. I want my son to support that woman and stand up for her. Simply put I want my son to grow up and be a man

I'm so tired of the double standard we have in society. We've all heard the expression boys will be boys. 

Only if you let them!!!

I'm sick and tired of all the pressure being put on girls to act a certain way and be "good" while society gives boys a slide. Don't believe me? Look at the sexting scandal at schools. Who is the blame is placed on, the girl or the boy? Who gets bullied? That's right the girl! What about the boy who asked for the sext? Usually nothing happens to him.  


I can't change society, but I can try my hardest to raise my son to respect women and him too much to ever pressure a woman into posing nude. 

10 comments:

  1. I so love this. As a boy mom, I hear all the time how I get off "easy" in the childrearing department, but you are absolutely right. Boys will be boys only if we allow it. I try hard every day to make sure I'm raising my boys to never need the pass society seems to give. Thanks for writing this. It really resonates with me.

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    1. I hate when people say that raising boys is easier! I have both so I know that boys are harder in some areas.

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  2. OMG! I am so glad I missed the charity episode last night. With all of the changes ABC is making with Hulu and not airing their episodes until eight days after, I end up missing The Bachelor. I did watch the second episode that aired last night and I agreed with his decision to send the girl who couldn't hold her liquor home. She would not be a good fit for a stepmother for his daughter—too insecure.

    I enjoyed Juan Pablo on Desiree's season and am very disappointed that he would pressure someone to do something that she didn't want to do. Since I didn't see it, did it cost her a rose? And if it did, I think she is better off without him. That is so disappointing! But could it be that the editors of the show manipulated what really happened?

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    1. Editing is always a possibility, but at the end of the day he did pressure her into it. They pick and choose what they show but they didn't make him say it.

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  3. I agree with you. A man should never pressure a woman to do anything she does not want to, and visa versa.
    I also want to teach my son to respect women and understand that even though he wants something, he can't have it every time.

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    1. Yes exactly, just because he thinks it's a good idea doesn't make it a good idea.

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  4. I don't watch The Bachelor but I agree with you 100%. a man should respect a woman's decision -- always.

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  5. This was one of those times I had to wonder about the editing and the producers influence (both on him and her). It seemed to me once she found out he would be in the shoot with her she seemed to be ease right up and be okay with it. I would be interested to see if this came up in future interviews or after the rose special.

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    1. I wondered the same thing. Sometimes I think they want the girls to make a big deal out of it to make the show better. If that's the case, they made JP look bad.

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  6. You just reminded me why I don't watch television. You're right, I sure wouldn't want my son to grow up to be a man like that.

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